If you and your spouse want to end your marriage amicably and stay out of court, two of the most common neutral paths are mediation and our cooperative process. They have a lot in common. Both are confidential, both keep you out of the courtroom, and in both we stay neutral rather than taking one person's side. The difference comes down to how much legal guidance you get along the way, and who actually handles getting your divorce done properly. As a Certified Mediator, I'll walk you through both.
Who This Is For
Many of the couples we help feel the same way. They're hesitant to step into a typical adversarial divorce, they want to work through things together, but they don't know how to actually do that. If that sounds like you, you're exactly who this process was built for.
How Mediation Works
In mediation, you and your spouse sit down with one neutral mediatorwho helps you talk through the issues and work toward an agreement. The mediator doesn't take sides, and that's the point. But a mediator also can't give you legal advice, can't tell you what a judge would likely do, and usually doesn't handle the divorce paperwork or filing. Many couples mediate the broad strokes and then still have to bring in attorneys to put the agreement into proper legal form and finalize it.
How Our Cooperative Process Works
Our cooperative process is also neutral, and we usually begin before either of you hires a lawyer. You come and meet with us together, in one room, with the goal of figuring things out amicably. We don't represent either of you individually and we don't give one-on-one advice. We represent the process. Everything is mutual, and anything you bring to us is protected and kept confidential. If either of you needs time to think, or to talk things over with family, that availability is built in.
Because we're attorneys, we can do what a mediator can't. When the two of you don't see eye to eye on something, we explain the law in that area and what a judge would typically decide in that situation, then help you find middle ground that works for both of you. We also handle getting everything done properly, so you're not left handing the agreement off to separate lawyers at the end. And if the two of you have already worked some things out on your own, we don't undo that. We help you take what you're agreeing to and get it done correctly. Learn more on our How It Works page.
The Real Advantage: Latitude
If you go in front of a judge, that judge makes a ruling as they see fit, and a standard ruling can't account for the specific nuances of your family. Working things out cooperatively gives you far more latitude. You can be creative and customize solutions that actually fit your lives, instead of squeezing your family into a one-size-fits-all outcome a court would impose.
Side by Side
| Mediation | Cooperative Process | |
|---|---|---|
| Who's involved | One neutral mediator | A&M Law as neutral attorneys for both |
| Stays neutral | Yes | Yes, we represent the process |
| Legal guidance | Not provided (facilitation only) | Yes, given to both of you together |
| Explains what a judge would do | No | Yes |
| Handles the divorce properly | Usually finalized separately | Yes, start to finish |
| Confidential | Yes | Yes |
| Keeps you out of court | Yes | Yes |
Which Should You Choose?
If all you need is a neutral person to help the two of you communicate, and you're comfortable bringing in attorneys separately to formalize everything, mediation may be enough. If you'd rather have neutral attorneys who can explain the law, tell you honestly what a judge would likely do, and handle your divorce properly from start to finish, all while keeping things amicable, the cooperative process is usually the better fit. As a Certified Mediator, I can serve in either role, and I'll tell you honestly which one fits your family.